How to Ferment a Shark and Why You Might Want To

By Dena Bain Taylor

 They could not brew ale, of course, in a land too frozen to support crops, but years ago someone discovered a shallow tuber whose pulp ferments into a drink that only looks like thin milk.  Quickly dubbed White Death, it proved to be a great chaser for shark meat aged in barrels.

--Bones & Keeps, Chapter 31

Photo by Sesselja Maria

Beowulf hides a world-destroying secret on the small island of Helsgate. I based this remote and barren volcanic island on Jan Mayen, which is in the Norwegian Sea some 1700 km away from the seat of Beowulf’s power on the west coast of Sweden.  Norway uses it as a meteorological station these days. Beowulf’s secret is guarded by a garrison of battle-hardened thanes who are challenged to survive in a place that’s one-third glacier and home to the world’s northernmost active volcano. It’s so prone to eruption that the Irish monk Brendan, voyaging about in the early sixth century, reported he’d found the entrance to hell.

So if you can’t grow anything, which means you can’t raise food animals, and the surrounding waters are so sulphurous the fish taste like stink, what do you do? Why, ferment a shark, of course. And definitely chase it with something very, very alcoholic.

Fermented shark (properly, hákarl) is a traditional Icelandic delicacy, generally washed down with a potato and caraway liquor called brennevín, aka Black Death. These days it’s mainly tourists who eat it, egged on by grinning Icelanders who can’t wait to see them gag. Anthony Bourdain famously called it “the single worst, most disgusting and terrible tasting thing” he’d ever eaten.  In fairness, although I never read anyone call it delicious, some find the taste merely unpleasant with a smell that most closely resembles cat pee.

RECIPE FOR FERMENTED SHARK

Servings:  Literally thousands

Prep Time:  Depends — how fast can you gut and behead a shark?

Total Time:  One year, more or less. 

Ingredients:

One Greenland shark, about 500 kilos (1100 pounds).

One sandy beach (salt water)

One bulldozer to schlep the shark around.

Various hooks and hanging beams

Directions:

1.     Gut and behead one Greenland shark

2.     Use your bulldozer to dig a deep hole in the sand near the sea where the sand will have a high salt content. (If the soil layer is too thin, do like the thanes in Bones & Keeps and use barrels instead.)

3.     Cut the fish into long slabs and rinse off all the slime and goo. Hungry yet?

4.     Pack the slabs into the hole.       

5.     Cover with sand and weigh everything down with stones. Big heavy stones. At least a dozen. 

6.     Go away for anywhere from 6-18 weeks, depending on the season and conditions. You’re aiming for just the right degree of putrefaction.  You’ll know it by the smell. But don’t worry — once you dig up the sharkmeat, hang it to dry for seven months or so and cut off the thick brown crust of toxins that has formed, it’ll definitely smell a little better.

7.     Cut into 1 inch cubes, stab with little toothpicks, and serve in an attractive bowl.

8.     Break out the Black Death and enjoy with friends.